'Twas the Night
‘Twas the night before summer and all through the valley,
Neighbours were planning a big protest rally.
The propane cannons were placed on their tripods with care
For fear that the starlings soon would be there.
The blueberry farmers were nestled all snug in their fields
As they dreamed of the profit their harvest would yield.
While my wife with her ear plugs and I with my Tylenol 3
Settled in for a long summer of pure misery.
At dawn the next morning there arose such a “Ka Boom!”
I sprang from my bed and ran out of the room.
And before I could utter a single, “Whoa Nelly,”
A blast shook the house like a bowl full of jelly.
The starlings weren’t scared, in flocks they still came,
While my poor wife and I were going insane.
So off to my computer I sprang in despair,
In hopes that Ban the Cannons still would be there.
I E-mailed and phoned, and called them by name,
And then to my wondering eyes they all came.
Roger came first, then Iver and Cherry,
Then Marion, Maureen and Don and then Terry.
The Pinkertons, Oggs, the Swetnams and Lee,
All carried large signs for the whole world to see.
So we rallied and marched and approached City Hall,
We wrote Letters to the Editor, van Dongen et al.
We researched and reasoned trying to find a solution
To this blatant, barbaric, absurd noise pollution.
All summer we protested, and, short of a riot,
We demanded the right to our own peace and quiet.
As autumn arrived, once again we could breathe,
Before the next ordeal, a temporary reprieve.
Then late Christmas eve as I sat round the tree,
Finishing a hot rum, or perhaps two or three,
The jingling of bells rang out in my ear,
And I swear I saw Santa and eight tiny reindeer.
Now call it a dream or my eggnog and rum,
But there next to Santa sat John van Dongen.
They flew o’er the fields spreading netting of blue,
Then wrote in the sky, “Merry Christmas to you.”
And I heard John exclaim as they drove out of sight,
“The cannons are banned, you can sleep well tonight.”
Merry Christmas everyone.
Let there be peace in the valley, the Fraser Valley!
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